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Personal Musings

in Diplomatic Incidents, Personal Musings

Thank You, 2014!

It’s just a few hours before we bid goodbye to 2014. My, my. How fast time flies.

The past year has been very good to Alvin and I. It was a year of firsts, adventures, and (good) changes that will affect our lives forever. And we couldn’t be any more thankful for all the blessings we got this year.

I am thankful for family. This year, I feel that even though Alvin and I moved to a different country, our families remain to be closer than ever. His parents visited us and my side of the family will also be visiting in the first quarter of 2015. We are happy to spend time with them here in KL – our ‘home’ for the next couple of years.

I am thankful for old friends and how technology makes distance irrelevant. Despite leaving Manila last June, I remain very close to my good friends. I see photos of my godchildren on Facebook so I won’t feel that they grew up too fast. My friends keep me in the loop of what’s happening to them and are always ready to hear about my day. I am also thankful that friends are actually willing to spend just to see us and make sure I don’t miss them too much. Right now, we have one of our favourite couples from Manila spending the New Year here and more of our friends are planning to come see us by mid-2015! Yay!

http://instagram.com/p/xRW2OkCqQi/

I am thankful for the new friends we have made and look forward to making more this year!

I am thankful for opportunities that came my way and I am so excited for the things that will be coming this 2015. 😀 Some are already ironed out, while there are more on the pipeline. 🙂 There was a time when I thought that I might feel unproductive without an everyday, regular job. But really, that hasn’t happened the past 6 months and it looks like I will only get even busier. No complaints here! 😀

I am thankful that the powers that be have been good to us during our move and adjustments here in Malaysia. So far the posting has been nothing but pleasant and everybody at the embassy and the people we’ve met here have been nice to us. Finding a home, a car, and anything we needed here has been a breeze.

I am thankful for my husband for being the best he could be. Sweet (in his own, adorkable way), responsible, usually patient with my whims and crazy moments, and always caring. He always thinks of how to keep me smiling and comes up with trips and things to do (within the city and out) to keep my wanderlust in its A-game. Thank you for making me your priority and making me feel like a princess. Keep at it. This 2015 and the rest of all your years! Lol.

And lastly, I am thankful for you. Thank you for reading this blog of mine. I hope you get something out of my musing and the things that I share with you. I am loving every minute of writing here and I hope you’ll stay with me longer.

And with that, I shall end this quick blog post to go and celebrate with my husband and our friends. I hope you guys have a wonderful New Year!

More later.

Love, Carol

in Diplomatic Incidents, Personal Musings

Just a short update: Touring The In-Laws

It’s been a couple of days since my last post and I was pretty bummed to break my one-post-a-day-for-three-days streak but wife/tour guide duties had to come first. My in-laws are in town until the 20th! 🙂

I’ve been taking them around the city by myself during weekdays while my husband is working at the embassy then he joins our ‘tours’ during weekends. It’s been great so far. My mother-in-law spoils the hell out of me. Just a little more and my husband might just get jealous for real. 😛

However, I do miss my alone time when I actually do get to write (it’s usually a weekday thing while my husband is at work). Or maybe, I’ll have one of those free days. You know, a day where I don’t have to go out at all and I can just sit on our couch while I watch Madam Secretary and The Newsroom episodes and I munch on Ruffles Sour Cream & Cheddar chips. Sounds really lazy and not me but hey. Maybe it’s fun to try doing nothing for a change. Haha! After the 20th, I intend to have that much needed break.

Huuuuuuge buddha statue at the Chin Swee Caves Temple near Genting Highlands. It was so cold that day! Not to mention windy. I was freezing my butt off while we were taking photos! LOL.

So far, they’re happy to see that life in KL is good. It’s an extremely expat-friendly city after all. Wowed them with my baking skills on they day they arrived, even. #WifeIt, I say!

I mean, really. Why do people always assume I can’t whip up something edible? LOL. Well, it’s prolly because my grandmother has been peddling the story that I was never the domesticated type. But really, Alvin and I have been doing pretty well on our own and the folks are pleasantly surprised (or should I say relieved?). 😉

My husband, being extremely OC and all, drew up the perfect itinerary which has been very helpful. So far, we’ve been going on a slow pace but the in-laws are definitely enjoying themselves. We go to one to two places in KL that are near to each other per day – just enough to see a chunk of the city without tiring them too much.

The slow pace is something that I’m not really used to, actually.

Alvin and I travel efficiently when we do it together. We’re not the type to loiter in one place or the kind of tourists that take too many pictures (even repeating some shots over and over and getting in the way of other tourists– ugh). We’re actually able to cover a lot of places during most of our travels which is just one of the things I love about travelling with him. He plans everything down to the train routes and stops, while I’m more of a wanderlust/anything-goes/smell-the-roses type who still walks and moves quite fast so we achieve a perfect balance by being together. He tends to go too fast at times, though and I’m the one who reminds him to chill for a sec and enjoy more. Typical me.

Mornings are spent with heavy breakfast (Rice or if no rice, a tonne of white bread!), a Filipino practice which isn’t really healthy and I’ve been trying to avoid for Alvin and I by serving cereal, wheat bread, yogurt, and some milk or fresh juice during mornings. But alas, it’s impossible to stop Filipino mothers from taking over the kitchen.

My father-in-law took a photo of Alvin and I outside Istana Negara, the old palace of the Agong which was turned into a museum. Such a luxurious home! Btw, yes. Those are red Keds. The Taylor Swift kind. 😉

My mom-in-law’s also cooking lunch today! Woohoo! Though I love cooking as a hobby, I can’t imagine myself cooking meals 2-3 times a day. That makes it a chore already and would take all the fun out of it! So I welcome all the help and am letting her have her fun in my kitchen for the next couple of days more. Heehee. I’ll just put Alvin on a diet once they leave. 😉

We’re off to Singapore again this weekend and will be welcoming Alvin’s aunt and uncle from Canada on the 17th so we’ll be having a pretty full house till the 20th and I’ll prolly be busy hauling them from one tourist spot to another. Tour guide practice, anyone? 😉

More later.

Love,

Carol

in Diplomatic Incidents, Personal Musings

Husband Appreciation Post: On Our First Anniversary

Oh you knew this was coming, didn’t you? How can I keep a blog and not even dedicate a single post to my wonderful husband on our anniversary?

A year and a day ago. 😉

Happy anniversary to my a-dork-able husband! Thank you for making everyday a surprise – there’s just no boring day with you. I guess it’s cos we’re so different? It’s like learning something new about a person everyday. Sometimes it’s funny, sometimes it’s something that will make you go ‘awww’, and sometimes it’s something that will drive you bonkers (You have to see first hand how O.C. Alvin is – I think this is worthy of a separate post). But at the end of the day, we’re just crazy about each other.

One year into the marriage and we both learned a lot. I can honestly say that we’re both getting really good at all of this. Both of us learned how to adjust, when to give way and when to push for what you want (nicely, of course), and to communicate properly. Yeah, communication. You can’t just expect your partner to read your mind and go with everything that you want. No two people’s minds are exactly the same after all. Looking back, whenever we had a rough patch, it was never because we were mean on purpose or we were acting out of hate. The root of all our past fights is actually misunderstanding. Everything can be solved by a good talk as long as you don’t let your temper in to the picture. A difference in opinion can be subject for healthy debate (our favourite topics include Israel-Palestine, religion, and sometimes politics) and you shouldn’t let your feelings (no matter how strongly you feel about your side) get in the way.

When I met Alvin, he was reserved (an understatement). In the words of author (and fellow diplomat’s wife) Cherry Denman, “he has the stiffest upper-lip spread wide across his body”. Mrs Denman used that phrase to describe her husband Charlie in her book Diplomatic Incidents. Is that a diplomat thing? Maybe. But I’ve met some whose lips are not the least bit stiff – I shouldn’t be talking about that… for now. Haha!

Anyhoo, while Alvin was quite reserved, I was the exact opposite. I used to party a lot in college (which stopped when I became a journalist) and my favourite phrase was “open bar” (the drinking is still there to this day but a bit… tamed?). I believe Alvin and I were brought together to introduce new things to each other. I brought fun into his life and he brought peace and order into my chaotic existence.

Alvin now smiles more often (his resting bitch face/poker face is almost gone) and even makes funny faces. I laugh out loud at his crazy antics when we’re alone and his jokes. Yes, colleagues of Alvin. He makes extra funny ones and when he makes a funny comment, you’re guaranteed to get a fall-off-your-chair kind of laugh. I guess someone just needed to get it out of him? He’s also more showy about his feelings, something he didn’t do before we got together. It makes my heart swell to see how proud he is of what we have.

When your husband who hardly posts on Facebook does this, it’s just too adorable. I was getting messages all day about how cute Alvin is.

These days my drinking is kept to a safe level and my life is a whole lot quieter. Well, sort of. We’re still busy with embassy activities and my path to being a domesticated diva (something I never thought I’d end up to be) but at the end of the day, when it’s just the two of us on our couch with him massaging my feet and giving me kisses while we watch The Amazing Race, we’re content and happy.

Before, I wasn’t thinking of getting married. I thought the quiet life was boring. But it turns out, all it takes is to have the right person with you and everyday is an adventure. Thank you for being you, Alvin. A husband who takes leaps and risks (both big and small) just to put a smile on my face. Thank you for taking care of me when I’m sick – like now. I’m down with a very bad flu while writing this and my husband’s been buying me meds and food during his lunch break (I usually cook for him at home or we meet for mini lunch dates) and he’s now out doing the groceries right after a long day at work to get me some yogurt and orange juice. To think that we didn’t get enough sleep after arriving from our weekend trip at 4am this morning. And yes, he still went to work at 8am. He’s just so good in making me feel like a princess without smothering me.

Smothering is a nightmare for women like me who never saw themselves as a damsel in distress. I am perfectly capable of killing my own dragons, but I wouldn’t mind having someone to do it with. 😉

Taken over the weekend during our sunset dinner cruise in Langkawi. <3

My husband is also extremely smart. Give him any country and he’ll tell you it’s capital and a bit about its history and culture. He practically has an encyclopaedia stored in his brain. He did admit that he used to read it for fun as a child. However, my husband is never proud. He is humble and he doesn’t put other people down. He is helpful, thinks about the welfare of other people, and he is very secure with himself and I love that about him. In fact, it makes me respect him even more.

I’m lucky to be in a marriage where both our opinions are of equal value (even though we come from a patriarchal society). From the colour of our throw pillows to his career.

I’ll keep this short as you people might go blahhh over the cheese. But I guess this is just my way of making the world jealous of how lucky and loved I am. 😉 But seriously – sometimes, I look at this guy just to wonder what kind of good I did to end up with him. <3

Here’s to more crazy adventures and butterfly-filled tummies with you, baby.

Carol

in Diplomatic Incidents, Personal Musings

Remembering 9/11

I guess the biggest injustice we and the future generation can do against those who perished in this tragedy is to forget about and pay very little attention to it as years pass by.

I am not American. I have never set foot in the United States and don’t really have any major connection the country aside from knowing that the Americans were our former colonial masters. Filipinos are also quite Americanised and very much in tune to their society because of TV and Hollywood. But other than having a couple of American friends and wanting to see New York someday, I don’t really have a major emotional investment in the country.

However, I do remember where I was on September 11, 2001 when news broke out that a plane hit one of the towers of the World Trade Centre in New York. Followed by another plane. Then news broke out that there’s yet another one that crashed into the Pentagon followed by the last plane that crashed in field in Pennsylvania.

It took a while for everyone to connect the dots. Everyone was blinded. Later on, we all found out that the 4 commercial planes were hijacked and intentionally crashed as a terror attack on the US and the last one was actually intended for the Capitol or the White House but it crashed into a field after the passengers fought the hijackers.

I remember hearing the news late at around 10 in the evening, Manila time. I was 12 years old and about to go to bed. We were watching the news and scenes from New York, one of my dream cities to visit, showed chaos and burning towers. Journalists were reporting from the streets and talking to people covered in soot and blood, running away from the devastation.

Photo from State of the Nation. An image that will forever haunt the people who were watching the news on September 11, 2001.

I was crying because I was scared and I felt so much pity for the people who were running, not knowing where to go and because I had some sort of inkling that there were thousand of people who might die – those were offices after all. I was right. Later on, it was reported that over 3000 people perished in the tragedy. The people who initiated the attack felt that they won. But at that time, I believed otherwise.

I went to bed after my mom pulled the plug on the telly but I wasn’t able to sleep right. I turned the TV on again as soon as the sun started peeking through my window and with my glasses on, I watched what happened next. Smoke, rubble, and people trying to dig out survivors from the fallen towers. Footage from the night before of firemen carrying injured people out of the burning Pentagon.

I remember seeing this photo everywhere in 2001. Taken during then-US President George W. Bush’s reading of a story book to school children and one of his people comes up to him to tell him the news that a plane hit one of the towers. Photo from Life Magazine.

I went to school upset and those scenes never left my mind. They scared me and made me care about what was happening in another part of the world that’s physically far from me but at that moment, I felt so close to it. I remember running to the grade school library during lunch and recess to ask my grade school librarian, Mrs Guevarra, to let me use her television. And together, we watched more cable news. She asked me: “So you still want to become a journalist after seeing that? It’s so dangerous what they’re doing!” and I told her that that’s precisely why I want to become one I want to be the one telling people what was happening and why. I want to know first.

While there were photos showing blood and gore, I think what got to me most were the simpler photos that said so much without being too loud. Photo from the New York Times.

For days, I found myself crying in front of the television. No, I didn’t know those people but I knew they did not deserve to die like that. I was hearing excerpts of last phone calls, seeing videos of people falling from the buildings, there were photos of dead people with loved ones crying over them splashed on broadsheets.

Their deaths were not in vain, however. In the next days and months the world saw a people united more than ever, telling their government that they want justice. I don’t know what Osama Bin Laden was thinking at that time but if it were me, I would have felt that I’ve woken an angry dragon up.

What’s more touching are the firemen, the police, and the volunteers that didn’t leave ground zero until all survivors were pulled out of the rubble. Photo from NBC News.

Movies were made, documentaries were filmed, features on news broadcasts and tributes were aired. We don’t hear about 9/11 as much nowadays. It’s been over a decade after all. But to me, that was one of the biggest turning points in modern history and one of the events in my late childhood that I will always remember. (Further Reading: Time Magazine’s If You Want to Humble an Empire)

Later on, in Journ school, I was discussing 9/11 to my Sociology professor. We were having a healthy debate on what drives people to commit such atrocities. The discussion went back to ideals, to a bit of history. From the US’ involvement in the wars in the Middle East, to lifestyle, to oil, conflicting ideals. Which made me realise that it’s not something you can just learn in a day. It’s a very complex matter which a lot of people tried to simplify in the past couple of years but still, it remains to be a tangled, complicated issue that only saddens me more as the issue is directly related to conflict in different parts of the world where men, women, and children are dying. I am strongly against the death of innocents and I believe we no longer live in a world where it’s always ‘an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth’. But alas, we don’t live in a perfect world. (Further reading: Osama Bin Laden’s Letter to the American People)

The biggest injustice will be to forget the lessons we learned. Photo from CBS New York.

My husband and I also discuss the matters of the Middle East over dinner (and sometimes goes all the way to before going to sleep) every now and then and though we’ve been at it for ages, I somehow feel that there is still so much more to learn and understand. Sometimes we end up with opposing personal views on certain matters (Why is it like this? What should be done for it to be okay? How will peace be achieved?) but still, there are facts to guide us. ‘The conflict brought about by differences, the changing worlds, and inevitable coexistence’ as I like to call it in my head.

While conspiracy reports remain, Osama Bin Laden was reported to have been killed in a US special operation in 2011. America rejoiced but I guess they’ve already learned from the past. They knew it wasn’t over and they knew that it’s not just Bin Laden who disagrees with their policies. There are more groups, more leaders.

When will it end? Photo from NBC News.

Today, some countries in the Middle East are still locked internal conflict. There’s Syria, there’s Israel and Palestine, and then there’s the ISIS in Iraq. News reports say that difference in ideals, clashing beliefs, and political interests are playing a major role in the matter. Two American journalists were beheaded by ISIS, a group that has been reported to be doing ethnic and religious cleansing in the region, as a message to the US ‘to stop meddling’ in the Middle East. And just a couple of hours ago, US President Barack Obama addressed his people and announced a major expansion in their military campaign against the group, saying: “This is a core principle of my presidency: If you threaten America, you will find no safe haven.”

Sometimes, you start to wonder: Will it ever end? Thirteen years from now, will we remember the people that were reportedly killed by ISIS and the historical monuments as well as places of worship of other religions that were reportedly destroyed by the group? There won’t be anniversary for the deaths of the Shiite Muslims, the Yazidis, and other ethnic groups who chose not to convert even at gunpoint.

I always talk about how remembering the past makes sure that you learn from your mistakes. And once this is all over, I can only hope that events will be remembered so that the future generations, despite differences in race, religion, and lifestyle, won’t have to resort to killing each other.

And while the New York skyline was forever changed by the tragedy of 2001 and there are no more plans of building new towers in ground zero as it has been turned into a memorial. I like how the Americans made sure that their future generations and everyone else in the world will never forget. Photo by Ryan D. Budhu, Happeningmag.

Nowadays, the New York skyline looks so different and I guess people have gotten used to not seeing the towers anymore. However, it is impossible for New Yorkers to ever forget September 11, 2001. The ‘Tribute in Light’ shines all night every September 11 since 2002. In 2008, the US announced that they will stop the tribute as an end to their nation’s mourning but it went on after and they said that it should continue well up to the tragedy’s tenth anniversary – 2011. However, it’s already 2014 and the Tribute in Light is still repeated yearly to commemorate what happened. I don’t think the US is still mourning the 3,000 people that died that day. I personally don’t agree with people who say that the tribute should be stopped so that they can move on. I think it’s nice to remember. To pause for a while and think about what happened. To examine ourselves how far we’ve come from that day when we heard the news that shook the entire world. And to reflect on how the conflict the brought about the death of thousands of lives in the West and the Middle East can finally be solved.

You wouldn’t want to lose your home or your livelihood, would you? And you wouldn’t want to leave your children orphaned. Right? Photo from Galleryhip.

But I’m no expert on the matter and maybe people who know better will want to shoot me for this. After all, I’m just a regular girl from Asia who’s dabbled in journalism and loves to watch the news. And while I don’t have a personal stake on the matter, I do care.  I am not Muslim nor American. I admit that sometimes, it’s hard not to pick a side. Especially when you see children dying and people losing their homes and livelihood due to conflict. Everyone deserves a place to call their home where they can practice their own religion and I do care about people even though they are different from me. I have learned to respect their own beliefs and the way they live even if I know if I were in their position, it would not work for me. I know that I am anti violence and I always will be. I know conflict and wars might be seen as an effective tool for certain people to get what they want. But at the end of the day, we all lose when the blood of our brothers and sisters (no matter what their race or religion is) is spilled, when children are orphaned, and when people are stripped of their homes and livelihood. We win with peace that’s achieved through peace. It might be slow, yes. But at least we’ll all sleep a little better at night, don’t you think?

More yapping later.

Peace and love,

Carol

PS. The views and comments in this post do not represent the views of the Philippine government or that of my husband’s. This is purely personal.

in Diplomatic Incidents, Personal Musings

When Nations Mourn and How the Media Either Helps or Gets in the Way

First written on July 31, 2014 but I decided to just actually finish it today. Also publishing this weeks after the incident to avoid being insensitive:

I’ve been putting off writing about things that caught my eye on the news the past couple of weeks so as to avoid tackling anything depressive.

But after weeks of not seeing anything other than Israel’s Operation Protective Edge in Gaza, seeing images of people being hurt on both sides, after the several plane crashes within the same week, and catching a report on the TV showing a parade of hearses in the Netherlands carrying the bodies of those that died at the MH17 crash, I found myself scribbling my thoughts on random pieces of paper – the back pages of my planner, grocery lists, and even some receipts.

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in Diplomatic Incidents, Personal Musings

Music: Robyn + Royksopp at the Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

Screencap from the Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

Screencap from the Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

I love me some awesome electropop. I like it even better when its performed live.

A friend who knows I’m a die-hard Robyn fan sent me a link to this video and I was practically screaming in delight while watching it. Just thought I’d share it with you today. It’s practically eargasmic!

Watch it here: http://www.nbc.com/the-tonight-show/video/royksopp-robyn-do-it-again/2806273

Hope you’re all having a great day so far! 🙂

Love,

Carol

in Personal Musings

#RIPRobinWilliams

Image from Touchstone Pictures

Image from Touchstone Pictures

“We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. Medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits, and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for. To quote from Whitman: ‘O me, o life of the questions of these recurring, of the endless trains of the faithless, of cities filled with the foolish. What good amid these, o me, o life?’ Answer: that you are here. That life exists, and identity. That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse. That the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?” – Robin Williams in Dead Poets Society

They say comedians lead the saddest lives. That’s a bit of information that I find hard to accept but I can easily imagine.

Hollywood lost a superb actor today. Someone who inspired a lot of us. I saw Dead Poets Society in 1996. I was in Kindergarten and I already loved reading, writing, and composing stories and poems as best as a 6 year old could. I would tell my mother stories I made up with the use of my imagination. Sometimes I would act them out as spelling the ‘hard words’ was still kind of a chore for a tiny kid. But right then and there, after seeing that movie, I knew I wanted to read and write for the rest of my life. Because nothing is more noble and more fulfilling than sharing ideas, feelings, and beauty through words.

He was Patch Adams. He was the Genie. He was Mrs Doubtfire. He was Mork, Teddy, and Airman Second Class Adrian Cronauer. But to me, Williams (who didn’t come up with that quote up there himself but gave so much life to it) will always be John Keating who had so much praise for language – for words and how we use them. Someone who recognised the power of words and asked the question a lot of us try to answer in our everyday lives: What will your verse be?

in Diplomatic Incidents, Personal Musings, Uncategorized

Changes and boredom

KL is such an expat friendly city. It’s like Singapore, Hong Kong, and even Manila (yes, people! Manila is expat friendly! Come see it!). There are so many different things you can do that it’s actually hard to get bored.

Which is a good thing since my husband worries about me getting bored (which might lead to me getting cranky) here while he’s in the office. See, back in Manila I worked as a full-time journalist. I did TV and multimedia and was always on the go. I was doing things like this and before that, things like this and this. I’m pretty much out all day till a bit late at night – like 5 to 6 times a week.

I did stories on diplomats, foreign policy, and politicians. I covered the impeachment trial of the Chief Justice and did stories on the South China Sea/West Philippine Sea issue. I met lots of fun and interesting people. I also did stories on art, beauty, fashion, travel, and food which you can find here. It was so much fun but I was as crazy busy as my husband was back in the home office, making the move here to KL a welcomed change. Now, only one of us is crazy busy! 😉

definitely and obviously miss my job but the time to lie down and actually get to do some reading (I brought a lot of my books from Manila!) is such a glorious feeling! So different from squeezing in a couple of pages while my crew cab zig zags along Manila traffic!

Sometimes, I wake up basically asking myself: Do I really have free time? Or am I just forgetting something?

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in Diplomatic Incidents, Personal Musings

Adjustments

Now I don’t really remember anyone saying that moving to a different country and starting a new life (read: from scratch) was easy. That’s because though it’s fun and exciting, it’s no walk in the park.

It’s been 13 days since we arrived in KL. We have finally moved into our new apartment – a two bedroom, three bathroom unit with its own storage room. It’s huge for just Alvin and I and I feel like it’s empty most of the time. And that’s because it is still quite that – empty. We’re taking it slow when it comes to buying furniture as we want the condo to look exactly the way we’ve been planning without breaking the bank.

So far, we’ve purchased the essentials and we’re predicting my decorating plans will take about 3 months to fully materialise. Let’s all keep our fingers crossed that I stick to my deadline and that I am able to have everything running by then as guests ranging from family and friends will be arriving in just a couple of months.

We were told by most of the people from the Embassy that KL is a post where you would definitely be getting lots of visitors due to its proximity to Manila. No complaints there, I say. As most of my friends and our family (even the ones in the Western part of the world) are already making plans to come over and it would be nice to show them around.

Speaking of visitors, the Ambassador recently hosted the son of one of the DFA Undersecretaries who was on a short trip to KL with his friend. We had dinner with them that night and shared lots of great stories over food. I had the pleasure of getting to know the Undersecretary back when I was part of the media, covering the Department of Foreign Affairs (DFA) back home. The Undersecretary’s son is fun and smart – just like his dad. My husband and I had fun pointing out their similarities as he seemed like the exact (only younger) replica of his father.

http://instagram.com/p/qAzYJ7iqXo/

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in Diplomatic Incidents, Personal Musings

On Keeping Calm and Goodbyes

The big move is in a little over two days. The husband says he’s already starting to feel excited. I, however, am the exact opposite. Maybe it’s because of the gazillion errands and meet ups we have to do. Even the countless dinners with friends don’t really feel like good-bye.

Thank goodness, the husband is getting assigned somewhere near. I won’t have to miss friends and family in Manila too much as we will only be a couple of hours away and we’ll definitely get a ton of visitors all year round. Even family from Europe (though they’ll have to fly for about 12-14 hours direct) are already talking about coming over this year and early next. I’m not even anxious. I should be, right? I SHOULD feel something.

But there’s nothing. No heart thumping, no squealing, no smiling at the thought of flying out this Wednesday and starting out a sort-of-new life with the husband in a new place. It reminds me of our wedding in October. This was exactly how I was. Normal. Normal despite the upcoming life-changing event. While other brides all over the world were screaming, dancing, and getting all giddy just days and hours before their wedding, I was surprisingly calm. I was looking forward to marrying Alvin, the love of my life, and spending the rest of my life with him but somehow, I wasn’t as emotional as how a normal bride should be. On my wedding day, as I walked down the aisle, the dam holding off all my emotions broke and I had a wave of panic attacks (which weren’t that obvious, thank goodness) as several levels of happiness, excitement and a tinge of sadness because I won’t be living with my lola (grandmother) anymore went through my nerves.

I ended up crying during our vows because I was extremely happy and giddy. I know, it’s crazy. Okay, back to present day. It would be very awkward if something similar will happen this Wednesday. Come to think of it, I actually cry a lot in airports. The worst was in 2008 during a short meet-up with my Mom in Schiphol while I was on my way to Tel Aviv. That’s another story. Point is: I hate crying in public though I end up doing that a lot before. I’ve actually gotten pretty good in holding my tears back by now. But I’m really emotional when it comes to my grandparents.

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